Mi2Sweets – Immortality or Chocolate?

01/13: Immortality or Chocolate?

Okay, I admit it. I’ve read the “Twilight” books (all 4 of them) at least three times. I’m a huge fan of the Charlaine Harris sexy southern vampire series and its television incarnation, the HBO series “True Blood.” I actively seek out new paranormal/ vampire fiction on Amazon. Given the success of “Twilight” the reason is obvious. Vampires (or immortals) are DAMN sexy! Not only do they have the whole eternal youth/ supernatural strength/amazing sex drive thing going for them, but most of them are cultured and well-read (they better be after living history for a few hundred years!).

A thought occured to me though, while I was sitting on the couch nibbling on a piece of Toblerone watching Bella declare her undying love to Edward (and she really meant “undying”) for the umpteenth time, that no matter how obsessed I was with my perfect vampire mate I don’t think I could ever give up the very human experience of enjoying food to stay with him forever.

I mean really, wouldn’t it eventually get kind of monotoneous to drink only blood? Even if you were able to treat your various “donors” as a metaphysical tasting menu, sampling different “flavors” in their blood through the food they consumed before you decided to suck the life out of them, it wouldn’t replace the pure sensation of, say, chocolate melting on your tongue. Biting into a neck ain’t the same thing as biting into a crispy piece of perfectly fried chicken, or a juicy sauce-laden rib. Great food, like great sex, awakens all your senses and can just as easily make your eyes roll back into your head.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Bella wasn’t really into food. Yeah, she ate it but she never seemed to relish in the experience of eating. So given the choice to stay human or turn into a vampire, it was really a no-brainer–Go Team Edward! Me? Well, what’s the point of all that “eternity” if you can’t sink your teeth into a freshly-glazed warm chocolate donut once in a while?

Here’s my list of the top 7 things I would miss if the vampire of my dreams came along and I (yeesh) decided to go the O-negative route:

1) Chocolate – pretty much in any form.

2) Fried Chicken – humans can’t be crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside.

3) Donuts – buttermilk bars, fritters, custard-filled, etc.

4) Ice Cream – need I say more.

5) Ribs – again, human neck not the same.

6) Dim Sum – hey I like a little of everything.

7) Sushi – pulling a live one out of the ocean ain’t gonna cut it.

Posted January 13th, 2009

Comments
2 Responses to “Immortality or Chocolate?”

Kelly says:

June 29, 2009 at 7:01 am

Despite being a vampire fan myself (I’m a Buffy fan, though, so our desired lore is a bit different)I have never actually thought about immortality that way. Damn, it must suck to never be able to enjoy the finer things in life like duck confit or unagi 😛 Now I will have to seriously consider the choice if ever offered a chance at immortality by a sexy, blood-sucking super guy :X

By the way, I’m Kelly. Renee Landry gave me your URL because I’m really into food blogs. I look forward to reading more!
Carissa says:

July 9, 2009 at 10:35 pm

Started out with eeeeewwwww, but then got a HUGE smile on my face.

mmmm, donuts (imagine Homer Simpson)… grew up in the era of Winchels… nothing beats their chocolate crullers all eggy and custardy with that chocolate on top… a far second would be a still warm apple fritter with lots of crunchy nobbley parts (I think I’m starting to make up words!) Krispy Creme (Cream?) is NOTHING next to one of these!

Didn’t eat sushi until I moved to SF in 2002… THANK GOD! Love the stuff… thank goodness that whole You Are What You Eat thing is just a saying!

Best thing ever was discovering how fun it is to make ice cream!

First ever meal I made was a hodge podge of foods: shelled peanuts, pickles, olives, crackers, nuts, fruit … hey, I was 4 what do you expect!